Interested in men and women.

Daphnia Rodriguez's Interview

I guess I’m bisexual because I definitely like guys, but I like girls too.  I realized this when I was 17.  I was a senior.  I had a boyfriend at the time.  He would ask me questions about sexuality.  I started thinking about that, and I was like I do [like girls too]. I haven’t talked to anyone specifically about everything, but some people know.  Some people have asked me but only close people.  No one has randomly walked up to me and asked.  It has also been mainly guys.  I’ve told some people just because they’re my friends. People back home don’t know.  No family members know.  I feel like I’ll probably get married to a guy so I just don’t feel the need to tell anyone. 

I guess it depends on what you think of as coming out because you can definitely come out to yourself.  I feel like as long as you can come out to yourself and say, “This is what I am.” That’s better than trying to deny it to yourself.  If you’re in a relationship with someone you might want to tell them, but other than that I don’t think you have to or need to.  Some people personally feel like they need to tell other people. 

I’m hesitant with everyone because you can think someone’s one way and then they’ll react differently.  Generally, most of the people I’ve told, I thought they would be ok with it.  They’re pretty open-minded people.  They didn’t say ridiculous things about race, sexuality, or gender.  They just don’t say stuff like that.  Some people will make jokes, and so I’m probably not going to tell them, even though it’s just a joke.  Most people see me with a guy so they assume I’m straight, and they’ll make homophobic comments in front of me. 

I think it’s a good thing when they ask questions if they don’t really know.  Some people who are surprised will ask, “How do you know? Who do you like on campus?” I definitely get a lot about, “How do you know?”  I like that especially if they are thinking about their own sexuality at all.  I don’t like questions with a lot of people, but if you want to ask me personally I think that’s good. 

In twenty years I see myself married with children.  It depends on my husband.  I doubt I’ll have a conservative husband, but if he says you can only be with one person then I’ll do that just because we’re married.  I’ll hopefully be in journalism, which is pretty liberal. I hope my job wouldn’t move me to a very small community, even though you can have very liberal small towns.  But in small towns you have people all up in your business all the time.  I’d like to go to a big city like Atlanta.

I really didn’t want to be bisexual because it makes everything so difficult.  When I would think about it in May before I was coming here, I just really didn’t want to say to myself that I was.  As for friends from back home, I’ve had the same friends since elementary school, and it’s a pretty conservative bunch.  Some of them are like, “If you’re gay you’re going to hell.”  I have some friends like that, and I really don’t want to tell them.  One friend, we started talking about that.  He was like in the Bible it says, “Homosexuality is wrong, and so if everyone was gay then the world would cease to exist.”  I’m like, “Is everyone in the world going to be gay? Really?”  Then I told him, and he was like, “Well, I don’t think you’re going to hell.”  I think he told my other guy friends too because they’re all like brothers. I get questions from them, but I still don’t want to tell them.  When I first got on the face book I put interested in women and men, but I put that I was interested in friendship.  I got so many IMs that were like, “Do you know you have interested in women and men? Do you know that?” So now I don’t have anything on there. I don’t have that I’m interested in anyone. 

I definitely think Davidson is a safe place, but I do think that people are going to judge.  I don’t think that any harm will come from it, but depending on who you want your friends to be I think some people can’t handle it or don’t want to go there.  I don’t feel like people would openly say anything.  I do know in small groups people will say stuff.  I know because I’m not out.  They will say stuff in front of me about people who are out.  If you can’t handle what people say then you shouldn’t come out.  Men I think are a little more homophobic than women, but not all of them. 

I especially liked the Bean Bag Series, and that speaker that came to talk about the degrees of sexuality. I think those are really good.  I think those would be good in the 900 Room because then you also get the people who just drift in from the union.  The Bean Bag Series did have a lot of good gay themed movies like Kissing Jessica Stein. I love that movie.  I think it sucks that you have to make people come, but I like how they do that.  I think if they chose one to watch during freshman orientation, and had everyone watch it and talk about it that that would be great. 

I think that there are stereotypes. I don’t really have many people who expect me to be bisexual.  People are usually surprised when I tell them.  I guess stereotypes work to my advantage if I don’t want anyone to know. Stereotypes are really bad for people who aren’t gay but fit the stereotypes, and then they get questions.  Stereotypes have just affected me because most people assume that I’m not.  I don’t approach other people who I don’t know are gay or bisexual. 

I guess it depends on the person, because some people are like I knew you were bi, so I guess they have better gay-dar.  I feel like I wouldn’t chance it based on that.  I know this one guy that some people are gay, but unless I know, I’m not going to assume.  For women, I think it’s different because there are lots of tomboys that express more masculine stereotypes.  However, men just skip effeminate and go straight to gay. 

I’m not a really large advocate, and it might change when I get older, but right now I just don’t want to do that.  For issues, on campus dealing with homosexuality, I will definitely state how I feel, but I feel like gay issues come off stronger when it comes from a heterosexual person.  People listen more if they think you’re heterosexual.  If a gay person says something then the straight people really can’t identify with them.