Parents can be most helpful by expressing confidence in their student's maturity. Students can manage most problems and inquiries themselves with the help of the college staff. The confidence and coping skills they develop from confronting problems successfully on their own serve them well when they graduate and begin their careers. When they exercise poor judgment, the college setting and staff members provide a safety net to help them correct or learn from their mistakes.

Even the most mature and independent students want the support and attention of their parents. They may not remember to call home and report their successes, but they will almost certainly call home when they have problems or feel blue. Usually they do not expect parents to do anything (and may be offended if they try). Parents who offer sympathy, support, and carefully worded suggestions as to how the student might approach the problem will be appreciated.

Mail, care packages of goodies or inexpensive gifts, notes or funny cards help students feel they are still connected to home and family. Students want to be informed about what goes on at home and may feel resentful if they are not told of family crises. Telephone calls just to chat are appreciated--if they do not come too early in the morning.

Students are all individuals and respond in their own ways to events during their first year. However, parents may anticipate several stress points when many first year students need extra support from their parents.

Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger offer some helpful advice in their book Letting Go: A Guide to Today's College Experience.

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